This was me at work. Of course there were comments.
It was always important for me to look good in such a miserable environment
Acceptable work attire As you can see no difference from what Mz. Lorenzana wears

This is a topic I‘ve been wanting to talk about for quite some time and then Debrahlee Lorenzana came along.

Mz. Lorenzana has a case against Citigroup claiming that she was fired for her looks and her taste in clothes were sexually appealing disturbing other co-workers in the office. Reading a story like this doesn’t surprise in the least but the fact that someone has the balls to come forward and say “this is what happened to me and this is the reason why.”

First let me say this, not only is this case completely disturbing, but how many women have had this experience and never spoke about it? I’ve tried contacting the attorneys for Mz. Lorenzana to perhaps comment on her pending case and allegations, unfortunately I did not get a response.

So of course in the traditional Kink~E spirit, I will share my own experience. It wasn’t too long ago, that I too, was given a hard time at work and not by just another co-worker but a female co-worker. I’m sure what I’m about to share, I’m not alone in my experience, I just have the mouth to say the truth, at least my version of the truth.

When I was a young girl, my mother always instilled in me to dress like a girl, dress nice and neat, and my aunt reminded me that the hair was the final touch in making a complete fashion statement. I will never forget her words, “you can have the prettiest outfit on, but if the hair doesn’t look right, you won’t look right.” Alas the wisdom of my mother and aunt were right.

So with that being said, you can only imagine what kind of little girl I was. I didn’t like games that required throwing balls. My nails had to be perfect (although they never were until acrylic came along); I always got hurt because how I looked was more important than any sport I was forced to partake when I was in elementary and middle school. Dancing/ballet was more of my speed and it was something that I pursued whole heartedly till my mother put a stop to it because she didn’t want me going to a high school where I had to commute on the train.

Having been through my own phases and lived very many different colors of my life (some colors not so pretty), getting back to the work force at the time was pretty easy since jobs were practically overflowing at the time. I remember I got a receptionist/secretarial job at some time of advertising firm. My boyfriend was terminally ill and in the hospital so I was keeping the fort together while he was getting better. Not only was I sexually harassed in this place but there was a woman there who constantly handed my ass to me for something she felt I did wrong. Because the office was two floors, there was an intercom system. It sure came in handy when we needed to let someone know if they had a call holding for them. Other than supporting the two head honchos, it was also my responsibility that to let the sales people know if they had a call holding for them. Since everyone had a preference some sales people preferred to be told through the intercom who was holding on the line for them and as I found out some did not, like this woman.

Her husband called one day while she was on the phone and made announcement on the intercom. A few moments after that announcement, the elevator doors opened and there she was, hair weaved locked in tight, yelling at me that the next time she receives a personal call do not announce it on the intercom. Understand now, it had been a while since I was in the workforce. My “colorful” life had let me to places that you’ve probably seen in New Jack City, that being said, my office etiquette was something I needed to learn and this wasn’t the place and she was not the person to teach me.

I apologized of course, but I didn’t like her approach and thought perhaps it would be a good idea to let one of the VP’s know what was going on. He seemed to empathize with my situation and as I walked out of the office, he slapped his manila folder on my ass, adding a smile and a wink. “Hmm”, I wondered, that isn’t right? Is this what I get for ratting someone out?

As you can imagine that job didn’t last very long and I quit due to the treatment I was getting from this one woman and the VP wasn’t making life any easier since slapping my ass was free reign for him. My boyfriend, stuck in a hospital was disgusted that he couldn’t do anything about it. He was Italian and possessed all the Italian attributes of a man who wanted to protect his woman in every sense. So you can only imagine how frustrating it was for him being hospital bound.

Last year, having been working for the last fifteen years, I’ve had my experiences working with or having to deal with jealous women in the work place. I think sometimes, is it my luck but the last two jobs I endured working with two very insecure personalities. The first job, I didn’t see it at first only because the first week she was on vacation and was not there, however when she did come back from vacation I was treated like the plague. It became worse when then other women in the department seemed to gang up on me when I made some changes as per the request of the new boss we all had. No matter what I did, it just never worked out. If there’s one thing I learned that in the workplace no one has a right to scream at you or talk down to you. Bottom line!

The job that followed I noticed the girl that sat next to me was pretty quiet and the guy behind me was nosy as shit, so I stayed far away from him. The team I worked for were a pretty decent group of guys and we all got along well.

Unfortunately a chain of events changed my quiet neighbor due to the fact she was having a torrid affair with her boss. Since they didn’t fire either one of them (favoritism), the girl was protected by the insane manager (and I’ll get to her in a minute) and was transferred to another floor, leaving me to work with a whole new person. Upon finding out who this person would be, I felt confident that this would be a workable friendship. She was pretty cool, at first, and we covered each other, by answering phones for our bosses, lunch, etc. It wasn’t until I found out that we would be moving to another floor that things changed. I don’t know why the purpose for the floor switch other than my boss was began working with other partners in conjunction of the work he was producing and they felt better if all were close in proximity.

At my request, I made sure the new girl would sit next to me since again I felt confident enough that being on a new floor that we would be able to handle any tasks given to us. I was better off asking the spawn of Satan to sit next to me.

The ugly truth emerged not too long after we were stuck with each other. I found her jealousy was costing me my reputation at work as she was feeding the office manager lies about me and my integrity at work. She began answering my own personal line when I walked away from my desk (there was a code you punched into your own phone to answer other lines not directly on your phone), I also found out that was trying to sabotage a relationship I was involved at the time. Every chance she took, she would imitate things that I would say to my friends on the phone, like “what’s the story morning glory”, or “what’s up dude”. Clearly not her type of language or in her vocabulary, I didn’t find any humor or joy that she copied me. It came to a point where I couldn’t stand being next to her. Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery, I’m sorry; it was fucking annoying having an echo trotting behind me. I’m not sure if it was the fact that she was a lesbian, who sported a toupee, and trying to get my attention with her low level stupidity of tactics. And believe me I have nothing against homosexuality; I have issues with lunatic psychopaths and there’s a BIG difference.

The ugliness of her jealousy was costing me my peace and sanity and every now and then I would get a call from my office manager asking me why I was late or, could you not wear that blouse because someone complained about it…meanwhile no one complained especially since it was the manager herself who saw me the day before wearing the blouse that showed a little bit too much cleavage even with the cami underneath the blouse.

My boss was absolutely useless in coming to some kind of resolution, like maybe having her transferred to another department. His response was, “I can’t get involved.” Funny how he couldn’t get involved yet in the middle of 2009 less than month after I arrived from my road trip vacation from the West Coast, and almost one year of complaining how she was sabotaging the department and how we all worked here, I was given my walking papers and the one that belong in the psyche ward kept her job.

What started off as a pleasant work environment ended up turning into a hostile environment with so salvation in sight. My nights before work the next day, I would suffer with insomnia playing what the course of the next day would be like. How can I win the battle with this off the wall psychopath? That would lead to getting up late in the morning, rush around like a chicken without a head, yelling at my dog to hurry up and potty just so I can make it work on time. My dress became sloppy, depression had set in like a ton of bricks, and losing weight became a battle. Working there was by far one of the worst experiences I had in my life and sadly the boss that I relied on to protect me was none other than a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

In the case of Mz. Lorenzana, she alleges that as a result of dressing nice and caring about her appearance, not to mention a slamming body, it called unwanted attention starting with the incident of one of her employers calling her into his office to get an opinion of a photo and it was a picture of his dick. That type of behavior is unacceptable and understood that this person has no regard for women and their intelligence in the workplace or any place for that matter. To add insult to injury, when Mz. Lorenzana reported the incident she was regarded as a trouble maker, leading to make her work place an unpleasant experience.

What is wrong with society and the so called “Human Resources” at work is there is no such thing as Human Resources being on your side. They are on the side of the company and when you make a legitimate complaint you’re regarded at the trouble maker, the act of retaliation begins, and it’s not fair and unprofessional.

At my last employment, I endured having an office manager who has serious narcissistic issues other than having a psychopathic for a co-worker and not to mention the office manager’s minion. She called on me for the most nonsense of issues, things that she felt I was over stepping the boundaries when I was trying to help an attorney that I knew, find a new assistant. It took having conversations with the “inside people” to let me know who her minions were and what kind of women she had on her side. Women with low self esteem issues, women who were maybe not as good looking and but definitely not as confident. These were the women the office manager had surrounded herself with because this was her way of making herself feel good and empowered, at the expense of these women, including the one that was having an affair with her boss. So you see this isn’t about morals but about favoritism and control.

It’s not the company that gets a bad name but those that are hired to run a company. And when you have people like this psychopath that sat next to me, she didn’t become like that on her own, she had help from the narcissistic manager that makes her believe without her she is nothing. This is no way to run any company or teach people how to be productive at work.

Finding reliable employees is more than just running a credit report. Sure we can all do that and find out if someone is paying the bills or telling the truth about their track record job history, but what about running the report is someone is sane enough to work with other people in a work place. That’s the thing we can’t technically find out and for some people the results don’t end positive.

As for me the “lay off” from my work place, was a blessing in disguise. It was no secret I was not happy there and my behavior reflected that. I was suffering from burn out and I couldn’t work anymore under the conditions I was forced to work under

It’s because of what happened, that I was able to redesign Kink~E Magazine and through my hard work and dedication it has flourished beyond by any means that I have envisioned. I know this because of the staff that’s has come and for me this is a reflection of me in how I run my business. Kink~E Magazine is still growing, evolving and changing I hope next month I will make an announcement that will change the course of how Kink~E Magazine will grow from here on in.

In closing, the case of Mz. Lorenzana, I believe that she did suffer distress; however the pictures she’s been taking recently will only make her case as one of someone seeking media attention hoard and not someone who wants to be taken seriously.

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