What is your background and how did you begin your quest?
Well from 1994 to 1996 I began looking for something unique and different. I sought for a new journey in my life. Growing up with stern religious beliefs, it felt as though religion was binding and I knew that spirituality was a form of freedom something more tangible that I knew can be obtained.
Growing up, I felt that Christian values or conversations were limited thinking, and prevented from growth and experience. When I found and stepped into metaphysical and energy work, I found different ways to express myself.
Coming into your own as you were growing up, how did you find ways to be responsible for your actions?
As the first born in my family of eight, I was used to leading and managing the affairs of my siblings and my family and it was a natural space for me. I owned a Massage Therapy business in downtown St. Louis, Missouri and in having that business I learned the meaning of transferring energy and the Dominate nature side of me to be in charge, to lead.
BDSM space and connected to the space within self and everything I’ve learned within this point has given me mindset, level and expectation of myself to be able to train and train submissive to elevate their spirit their mind, leadership, energy and offer all of me.
How did you find yourself in the BDSM world was it first and did you combine together?
In the early 90’s, I met a gentleman who was interested in anal play.
At the time I didn’t have any toys. Most of my dominate play was using my hands. I have always been Kinky all of my life. My brain seemed to be a little different and I thought differently about my sexuality. In my vanilla sex life I have always played before I understood what I was doing, for me it was natural. He was interested in anal play and even though I was not knowledgeable to this type of fetish, I was open to suggestions and it opened eyes to BDSM. After visiting a local shop, he purchased a harness and a dildo for which I used on him. He opened a door from a sexual point but not a mental point.
I recognized in learning from my elder relatives, mostly my great grandmother who passed at the age of 103 years old and my grandmother who taught me strength, communication, in being in control or commanding. Getting what you want, being confident and feeling that you deserved to get what you are looking for out of life.
Growing up most of my life being the oldest child, I had no one that was at my parallel level that I can relate to, my father being the only child, I didn’t have any cousins my age so my female relationships were built around my great grandmother and my grandmother. So I connected looking at them at a Matriarch level and learned the old school ways of female supremacy, especially as a Black American woman.
My grandmother was married for forty five years to her husband. On his way home he was killed in a car accident while having a heart attack. His persistence to be home with his wife instead of going to the hospital was the epiphany of the strength my grandfather possessed and the commitment he had to my grandmother. He took care of her, he worked, made sure she had everything she needed so they can have a good home. It created a balance I have never seen before. This man was a true submissive and he worked to make sure he made a better life for her.
The example my grandmother presented was a woman who was sufficient and dominate, leading and taking control. Simply put a woman should always be sitting at the head of the table.
As I progressed in my path, I realized I held the key metaphysically and literally.
What began for me in the Midwest expanded when I moved to the West Coast and at the age of thirty three in the belief of my own Female Supremacy was when my life started to unravel.
How important is it for a Domme to know the psychological aspect of BDSM?
Very important! I would say about eighty percent of the psychological aspect of BDSM and the rest is physical. In what I have experienced and what I have seen, I believe that ninety seven percent of males who have had some experience as a young man that puts them in a space of a Dominate female family member, friends, teachers, etc.
Males are born from a female as a result they will have thoughts or fantasies or event that a woman possess powers that they may not get from their fathers. They have fantasies, seeing mom’s friends and/or neighbors.
When male comes into his own, he is put into space, in society, and while he seeks to fill that space, sometimes they are able to submit, however society does not teach them how to submit. They may have submissive fantasies but the world teaches the male not to be submissive because it shows weakness. He goes so what is acceptable.
When they seek out a Dominate, what will it take for them to serve? Financial domination, is a form of submission, it’s not all of it but it is a beginning of a very nice road if the two are very connected and how they are moving forward in that relationship
But if they gravitate towards a younger person it may be because they can manipulate that person to get something out of a situation. So they are not really a submissive person? NO.
How has technology changed the dynamic of how a Sub/Domme relationships changed?
Technology makes it easy but the Achilles heel is that now anyone can come in and say they are Dominate or a Dominatrix and hide behind their computer without having to do the inner work and learn the proper protocol.
One upon a time it was much more psychical and time consuming. You went out and had meetings and lunches and took the time to get to know people and their intentions.
The computer has a way to reach those from all around the world and that’s a great piece but somehow we’ve become microwavable. We want things yesterday and not today. Because of that D/s relationships are rushed; you still have to put time in and dedication.
Technology is a great thing however it does take a little bit away from making spiritual connections.
In the world of June Cleaver, the man worked while the woman took care of home and finances. Men were the bread winners. Today women drive the economy, they are the ones that take time out to buy and shop. Men are different. They buy big things like cars or boats. These are normally one time purchases that do not drive this economy today. Subsequently because women do drive the economy they should be in control of the distribution of wealth.
How important is it to be a part of a society of BDSM or that the BSDM community have a place they can go to and can potential submissive males learn the value of submission via long distance.
We are vibrating and electric people filled with energy and looking for someone to connect with. Community is a must and just as important as the air with breathe. When I found F.D.S. I like I was home, because there were women who believed in the same concept of Female Supremacy and the male subs that can appreciate a woman led society.
As for a male sub learning the ways of submission via long distance, Yes! I believe it’s possible. Fem Dom Society or F.D.S. has shown that it is possible. Long distance subs serves as oppose to close connections and how can they learn or how can they be of use when they are not here. Many subs via long distance have a skill set that can still be of use to me.
Community is where you find your comfort zone and challenging like minded individuals where you can be free and be You any time, any day.
The honor of being a part of this society allowed me to develop a network and bring together other people who have the same desire to learn about Female Supremacy.
We have a “Lady of the Court” which is the highest position within F.D.S and we meet once a month to decide awards for good deeds and punishments based on infractions. We set policy and we collectively run the society.
My appointment as a “Lady of the Court” is humbling and an honor.
In addition, seeking and interacting with a community setting, I have produced and created The Dungeon Experience within a large consumer market through Fan shows.
There I am exposing more to vanilla kinksters to the BD S&M Lifestyle.
How has all of this been effective for you?
After a year and giving of myself and my resources, I feel like its home. I feel now when you are active and doing this and you’re present, people will gravitate towards you. I find that it’s great to work with other Fem Dommes , meeting Submissive males, and having your wish list being fulfilled among other pertinent parts of the lifestyle, which is meeting a submissive, willing to serve and surrender on every level of what BDSM stands for.
Subs better your realm by giving what you are asking for, they come to you humbly, and they know protocol. F.D.S. is to learn, to grow and meet others.
How do you find a Sub in what he can do for you?
If they are not willing to give themselves then giving of myself is not of equal match. If you receive an email detailing that he is ready to submit and serve, it would beg the questions of what will be his skill sets and what can he do to serve me personally.
There are some sites that over time, the BDSM emotional gratifications are lost and we lose sight of what true BDS&M is about. Therefore they lose sight of what they are looking for other than the physical gratification first…the wankers.
Selfishly seeking their own personal satisfaction they cannot and unable to truly serve. You can tell instantly, how they will approach you and what they say on email and/or phone conversations. They should be concerned about my needs and not their own. If they really want to serve, what will they have to offer Me?
If a sub found me they know, what they are seeking and they know they are seeking a stern, disciplinary who will educate and they will sumbit.
When they approach me they need to be clear on how they will serve me. I create the platform so they better have a good ass story to get me to consider for reading the rest of their email. ;-)
They find me but will I find them worthy of my time, my energy and my knowledge so come correct boys or don’t come at all. *laughs*
Release and let go. Every little test is important test between the two people or the couple in that relationship. If they are being honest and truly able to put aside their personal needs for the moment to show themselves and be able to receive. Celestine prophecies – a relationship can be challenging and a learning experience.
What are you finding within the BDSM Communities today?
I have found people are insecure and lash out. They become very opinionated in how they live their lives and use their own ways of venting. Wars that are stupid and it separates the community – Communities are for people to learn more tolerance.
What would you say to an inexperience young lady interested in entering the BDSM World?
I would say are you ready for a long inner journey and work hard of self acceptance? To be receptive and do inner work and do what a lot of us are doing – you have to love the work in order to continue. I would also strongly suggest going through the Domme University of F.D.S. In addition, to answer for yourself, the reasons why, “why does BDS&M relationship appeals to me and what about it that draws me to the lifestyle?”
It has to be a passion, a burning desire and not just financial stepping stone. To be able to assist others while also getting your needs met, you really have to help other people. Being a Dominatrix or a Fem Domme, is it a label or is it truly a life for those who are genuinely open and ready to take responsibility. Are you ready to take responsibility!
Let me share with you what was told to me…when I was at Playboy radio and was chatting with Nikki Hunter and Debbie Diamond. Debbie is Domme offered a beautiful ass to me to flog and spank. She admitted she is a Dominate female but will submit to a few. She also said, “that was the best spanking I ever had.”
(While on the air) Nikki Hunter stated to Mistress C, “It was immediate for me to connect – a spanking is not a beating it is tangible and erotic- I get focused on that individual and how their body responds. You are truly an artist and there are not many out here that are like that.”
I would also tell to the potential young ladies seeking this life, that BDS&M is not about male bashing for me. Often time’s people take that position when it comes to true dominate women or they think that is the case (that they don’t like men) that is not the thing here.
People also think that submissive men are weak and that is not the case either. Men are gems because mastering submission, takes a lot of heart and not everyone comes into their being with that type of passion and heart.
I value my slaves and submissive.
Most importantly, Men are here to serve.
How would a man reading this would react to the idea that a man should be submissive?
Any man reading this interview, should count himself lucky. HA! Because you are a man, who is seeking a more fulfilling life, just because you are reading this interview and just because you are on Kink~E Magazine.
So to talk about the failing marriages, lack of communication, lack of respect, the lack of basic chivalry are lost because you men have been in control.
What female supremacy does? It gives an order so men are able to be more functional and their day to day activities. If men were left to their own vices he would wank himself to death to an early grave.
So if you are reading this article then you have passed the first stage of evolution. ;-)
“Behind every great woman there is a good male sub” If that is the case, if they love that woman, they should be able to say, “How may I serve You?”
A lot of men approach me at the EXXXOTICA expos, where I produced the Dungeon Experience. When I’m approached by those men for spankings and floggings and gen question about why what I do I find that men are seeking for the answers that they thought they had. The failed marriages and war, hunkered poverty, all of these economical and there is a social disconnect and people are left scratching their heads, “where did we go wrong”. Bring the woman to the table. Men no longer need to scratch their heads, bring the woman to the decision making table.
Mistress C left me with this:
If woman was able to, carry, incubate, feed and push a man out, who is in control?
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Mistress C is affectionately called the “Dungeon Lady” because her creation in producing the Dungeon Experience for the Adult Porn/Fan Fare shows. Men that stop by her Dungeon Experience to get a flogging, to get spanking, or to learn more about KinkE living walk away with a smile. Mistress C has an eye for new and fun people, original products. Keeps her eyes peeled for the best fun, products and services made for Adults and Kinky play.
She has eye and up an coming new toy called the It’s love handles for the hips MunkeyBarz.com
Trading cards are available and personally autographed.
