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March 2012 Issue | Home | About Us | Site Map | Contact Us |
Monthly Features Kink's Korner ------------------- BDSM/Fetish Lounge -------------------- Interview Highlights (coming soon)
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MB: Tell me about yourself in your current career. NE: I work part time as a hair stylist/make-up artist/designer for wylde stylde for special events/photo shoots and I also am a recording artist/actress/model , I keep myself very busy. MB:Talk to me a little bit about what it was like growing up for you. Were you bullied? How did you handle that? NE: Growing up for me was hard , I moved around alot when I was a kid, I grew up in the Nj shore area , but school kids can be so mean, especially to the new kid , then when the new kid is very feminine , you could just imagine the ridicule I went through everyday, it wasn't a fun experience to wake up and go to school in the morning and get bullied everyday , in homeroom, gym class, locker room, hallways, lunch, and the bus IT SUCKED! I would just come home crying everyday , I was so depressed , to the point where I ended up taking 100 aspirin and alcohol to try and kill myself, I was then admitted to an inpatient rehab center for 2 weeks for attempted suicide. MB: Was their ever a time where you felt that perhaps life was not worth living and if so, what turned everything around for you? NE: was there ever "a" time? there were many times ! Like when I got bullied in school, or when I had ignorant,uneducated people that put me down and called me a man even after I had my sex change ,or when me and my bf broke up , Yes I felt like cutting my wrist ,overdosing, or hanging myself , but at the end of the day you realize , that really doesnt solve the problem, and you ask yourself , is it really worth it? NEVER LET ANYONE GET THE BEST OF YOU ! DONT LET THEM WIN ! MB: How did you search out for resources to help you through preparations for your transition? NE: The only resources I had was TV - talk shows living in south jersey, no transsexuals lived where i live , nor were there any drag/gay bars MB: As a person who decided to go through a major transition to becoming a women, how psychically painful was that for you? NE: OMG , the two most painful surgeries in my life was my Calve implants ,and SRS (sex reassignment surgery) I can truly say the SRS hurt the worst, I felt like my insides were ripped out with a corkscrew, and my balls were smashed with a bat lol I had the worst pain and bruising for months MB: Was their a time that you thought maybe it was not worth it? NE: I definitely never felt it was not worth it , because then I would have been in doubt, the pain was well worth the final result in becoming a female. MB: Who was your major inspiration and support system? NE: My major inspiration was the Vegas Showgirl Jahnna Steele ,may she (RIP) , she was the first transgendered woman I had met that had a sex change and she was the most beautiful and passable to me ever, she looked like a true to life Barbie doll, and I would have to say my support system was just me, I did everything on my own, at that time it was very hard for my mother to support my complete transformation, but finally some time after she came to terms with it . I know it cant be easy for a parent to deal with I've been seeing a lot of people utilizing youtube as a ways to communicate their feelings. MB: Do you think using Youtube is a good or bad resource? NE: I think youtube is a great way to communicate your feelings, because other people can relate to what you are going through and possibly give you advice and help you through your hard times. MB: How do you see yourself as an inspiration to others? What would you say to them? NE: I definitely see myself as an inspiration just because I am wise and I have been through alot in my life, I can definitely give the best advise I can give , and hopefully change someone whos feeling suicidal , to feeling ALIVE again and having something to LIVE for. If they ever need to talk they can write me on my Facebook page www.facebook.com/nikkiexotikaofficial and I will answer there question. MB: What effect does it have on you personally when you see someone taking their own lives because of their differences in how they feel about themselves and how society shuns alternative lifestyle? NE: It saddens me to hear of anyone taking there lives period ! Yes the LGBT lifestyle is a hard path in life, especially worse for transgenders and gays , but there lifestyles are shunned because people are ignorant , and uneducated ,remember that ! Not everyone will like your choices, not everyone will approve , but as long as they can RESPECT you , thats all that matters, I am trying my hardest to change the minds of the world , if I can change at least 40% of the peoples perceptions on us than I would be very happy ! Im just trying to make it easier for the up and coming transgender kids and whoever that can relate . MB: Talk to me about your music inspirations and where you would to see yourself a year from now. NE: I love Madonna,Lady Gaga,Britney the most !!! I would say my sound is very "MAGAGANEY" haha I would love to have a record deal a year from now and hopefully working with big artists like madonna or gaga, that would be my dream ! Hope it comes true ! MB: How do you define your happiness today? NE: I define my happiness as loving myself first before anything or anyone ,and focusing on my passions and goals, I also love spending time with my closest friends and family and my cats , that makes me very happy ! MB: Any regrets? With my sex change ( SRS) NO ! with plastic surgery YES! If I could go back in time , I would have done things differently and would had done my research and gone to a board certified plastic surgeon , be careful with silicone , make sure it is medical grade ! there are dr's out there out for the money and they will pump you with stuff from Home Depot or hardware store , and you can die ! Be cautious! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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